Wendover is the new Vegas. Says me. #occupywendover

EVERYTHING'S disposable in Wendover. Even human beings. #occupywendover

Wendover! Part Trois #occupywendover

If someday we all go to prison for downloading music illegally, I hope they split us up by music genres.

If someday we all go to prison for downloading music illegally, I hope they split us up by music genres. There's going to be a lot of scared white kids who listen to rap...however my buddy Tyler Pedersen is going to have a good time in the Taylor Swift area of the prison.
https://torrentfreak.com/copyright-industry-calls-for-broad-search-engine-censorship-120127/

What kind of homo goes to a bar, doesn't drink and orders a Cobb salad?! #thisguy

The day after a Wendover trip I always feel like I am a Willie Nelson song. Also my left knee hurts.

Drunk on nothing but creative juices tonight! Cookin' cookin' cookin...

While watching Benny & Joon, I just made a firm decision: girls with bangs do it for me. Big time. Ooh la la!

Title

Eating homemade steel-cut oatmeal and looking over my newly-arrived box of Obama 2012 merchandise.

Eating homemade steel-cut oatmeal and looking over my newly-arrived box of Obama 2012 merchandise. Portlandia's doing a sketch about me next week.

Just saw a Wheat Thins commercial with Brian & Stewie.

Just saw a Wheat Thins commercial with Brian & Stewie. At least it took Seth MacFarlane over a decade to sell out, unlike that other asshole...

Watch this and learn about SOPA! It's adorable, hilarious and informative!

Watch this and learn about SOPA! It's adorable, hilarious and informative!

Originally shared by Matthew Inman

I made an animated GIF about SOPA.

http://theoatmeal.com/sopa

I feel like I have to fart but I feel like if I do I'm pretty sure I'll poop my pants.

I feel like I have to fart but I feel like if I do I'm pretty sure I'll poop my pants. I think this must be how Alex Mendenhall feels all the time.

Black people make such good music...well, MOST black people. We still gotta deal with Chingy.

Oh, I see, Pinterest is the chick version of Reddit, got it.

How did people masturbate before the Internet? Did they, even?

Something I learned from Tyler Pedersen: when your hairline is thinning or receding around your temples, calling...

Something I learned from Tyler Pedersen: when your hairline is thinning or receding around your temples, calling them "power alleys" makes them fucking awesome.

FACT: Mexican food is the only food that tastes good with sauces or condiments of any kind on it, and if you don't...

FACT: Mexican food is the only food that tastes good with sauces or condiments of any kind on it, and if you don't use an entire packet of hot sauce per bite then I don't wanna be your friend.

I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.