Is Paul McCartney the new lead singer of Nirvana?

Is Paul McCartney the new lead singer of Nirvana? I don't see why they feel they need to replace Kurt, the fans need time to heal.

“Guns don't kill people but NRA people who own Congress people make it easier for crazy people to get guns & kill...

“Guns don't kill people but NRA people who own Congress people make it easier for crazy people to get guns & kill innocent people." — John Fugelsang

The NRA switchboard can be reached by calling 800-672-3888. Ask them how more guns could've prevented the tragedy in Newtown.

I don't know if National Hot Cocoa Day is really a thing, but Isaiah & I are making Mexican hot chocolate anyway.

I don't know if National Hot Cocoa Day is really a thing, but Isaiah & I are making Mexican hot chocolate anyway.

Anyone else at the NOFX show? Hollatchaboi.

Ladies!

Ladies! "If you've ever had 2 penises inside of you at the same time, you're not ever getting married." Wise words from a concerned friend.

Just saw the first unsexy teenager I've seen in a long time.

…AAAANNNDDDD BOB MELVIN WINS AL MANGER OF THE YEAR!

…AAAANNNDDDD BOB MELVIN WINS AL MANGER OF THE YEAR!!!! I love the Oakland Athletics so much. My future kids are fucked, I'll never love them this much.

“The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.

“The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit." — Nelson Henderson (Cc: conservative dickbags)

Well, today I realized I had Halle Berry's exact haircut, so I shaved my body.

“Drawing upon the absence of God causes believers to seek a painful God." — Norifumi Suzuki

“THAT'S why we do this.

“THAT'S why we do this. That's what politics can be." — Barack Obama, the greatest orator I will ever see/hear in my lifetime. #MicDrop

I CANNOT WAIT until President Barack Obama answers Mitt Romney's concession call tonight.

If Mia Love wins I'm moving to L.A. with Alex Mendenhall in May and never ever coming back.

Shoulda been a surgeon.

Shoulda been a surgeon.

Stay classy, GOP.

Stay classy, GOP.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=163523003&device=iphone

Romney was probably using the new iOS Maps.

Romney was probably using the new iOS Maps.

“I'm tired of old men dreaming up wars for young men to fight." — George McGovern 1922 – 2012

Isaiah's birthday party!

Isaiah's birthday party!

An awesome season deserves an awesome pumpkin!

An awesome season deserves an awesome pumpkin! Thank you Oakland Athletics, for a season I'm going to remember for the rest of my life.

Re: “Fuck China" — Mitt Romney

Re: “Fuck China" — Mitt Romney
http://www.theverge.com/2012/10/17/3515264/mitt-romney-barack-obama-apple-china-debate-video

In future debates Obama needs to hammer that the stimulus worked—we've weathered the recession much better than...

In future debates Obama needs to hammer that the stimulus worked—we've weathered the recession much better than Europe, which went with austerity instead of stimulus.
http://www.politicususa.com/beneath-romneyryan-lies-austerity-plan-spells-economic-doom.html

Thank you Oakland Athletics for an amazing season of walk-off wins, post-game pies, Bernie Leans, and thrilling...

Thank you Oakland Athletics for an amazing season of walk-off wins, post-game pies, Bernie Leans, and thrilling baseball.

Yankees met the O's in Camden Yards tonight and a Cubs-Astros game broke out.

Yankees met the O's in Camden Yards tonight and a Cubs-Astros game broke out. Four errors in this one, two for each squad.

Yes, evolution and human-caused global warming are “only theories." Know what else is? Gravity.

Yes, evolution and human-caused global warming are “only theories." Know what else is? Gravity.
http://www.bringyou.to/apologetics/p67.htm

"Romney shook his Etch-a-Sketch and lied his way through the entire debate…"

"Romney shook his Etch-a-Sketch and lied his way through the entire debate…"
http://www.salon.com/2012/10/04/those_old_obama_debate_blues/

The Romney campaign said it wouldn't be dictated by fact-checkers and his debate sure wasn't.

The Romney campaign said it wouldn't be dictated by fact-checkers and his debate sure wasn't.

Mustaches & Detroit Tigers ballcaps are like Jim Leyland & anger—they're all worn well together.

Jury selection. I feel like I'm one of the characters in that “Guess Who?" board game.

Jury duty sucks. I'm never voting again.

Aww shit, looks like someone's got a case of Bieber Fever! Let's hope it's terminal.

Aww shit, looks like someone's got a case of Bieber Fever! Let's hope it's terminal.
http://www.seattlepi.com/entertainment/tv/tvguide/article/VIDEO-Justin-Bieber-Pukes-on-Stage-3909915.php

Seeing Henry Rollins' spoken word tour. I bet I'm the only one in here that hasn't seen The Big Lebowski.

The DNC should've countered Eastwood's speech with Jim Carrey talking out of his butt as Ace Ventura.

The DNC should've countered Eastwood's speech with Jim Carrey talking out of his butt as Ace Ventura. "Excuse me, I'd like to ASS you a few questions—are you better off now than you were 4 years ago?!"

I have a bro tank tan line. Like bro tanks themselves, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about it.

1.

1. I'm not sure Mitt Romney will show up for the debate. 2. I'm pretty sure Mitt Romney is going to vote for President Obama at this point.

I HATE the phrases “tats" and “tatted." I'm trying to get the phrases “ 'toos" and “ 'tooed" to catch on!

I love my president.

I love my president.
http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gizmodo/vip/~3/_t3H3JQ3KSU/ask-obama-anything-on-reddit-right-now

A mustache is NOT a fad—it’s a lifestyle. Like homosexuality, it’s not a choice—I was BORN to sport this.

Even the houses in Park City have mustaches.

Even the houses in Park City have mustaches.

When did Ayn Rand become popular again? Was it before or after Samantha Fox posed in Playboy?

Everybody complains about student loans being outrageous.

Everybody complains about student loans being outrageous. I'm still trying to pay off my Nintendo tip line 900-number debt.

I realized all of my friendships are based on coffee, alcohol, or baseball. As it should be.

When my friends start telling me I look like Master Splinter from the Ninja Turtles, that's when I know it's time to...

When my friends start telling me I look like Master Splinter from the Ninja Turtles, that's when I know it's time to shave my fucking face.

Some of the swimsuits these male divers are wearing are smaller than the black bars NBC would put over their junk if...

Some of the swimsuits these male divers are wearing are smaller than the black bars NBC would put over their junk if they were just naked.

So Mitt Romney, when the big boys said no, did you start Bain Capital with Central American death squad money?

So Mitt Romney, when the big boys said no, did you start Bain Capital with Central American death squad money?
http://articles.latimes.com/2012/jul/19/nation/la-na-bain-creation-20120719

If you live in the East Bay Area, there's an outdoor showing of Moneyball in Jack London Square tonight!

If you live in the East Bay Area, there's an outdoor showing of Moneyball in Jack London Square tonight! #KeepTheAthleticsInOakland

Romney health care plan seems to now boil down to "well I guess you should've been born in Massachusetts, loser!"

"I was never lonely.

"I was never lonely. Rather, I was solitary and wanted no company at all other than books and movies and my own imagination." — Gore Vidal, 1925–2012

Why are so many MLB teams named after birds?

Why are so many MLB teams named after birds? The same reason so many are named after colors of socks—because baseball's fucking awesome!

Didn't the Chinese INVENT fireworks? #isntitironic #dontchathink

Hey, people who whine that there’s “nothing to do” where they live: the only city with a rollercoaster on every...

Hey, people who whine that there’s “nothing to do” where they live: the only city with a rollercoaster on every corner is Las Vegas. Only boring people get bored.

Why I use Linux: a simple, brief visual guide:

Why I use Linux: a simple, brief visual guide:

I need to listen to the Misfits' "Hybrid Moments" and "Where Eagles Dare" right now. Not want. NEED.

There never was any Batman, it’s all a dream-within-a-dream, and Marion Cotillard is his dead wife.

There never was any Batman, it’s all a dream-within-a-dream, and Marion Cotillard is his dead wife. #DarkKnightRisesSpoilers

Well, Nolan did it.

Well, Nolan did it. It's better than The Dark Knight and it's better than Inception. It shits on The Avengers as the greatest comic book adaptation ever and it shits on the final Harry Potter as the greatest conclusion to a film franchise ever.

By far my favorite article I've read about the DH rule all year.

By far my favorite article I've read about the DH rule all year. Dierker's proposed rule is the best solution I've yet heard to the DH problem, if you even consider it a problem—the fact that there are two rule sets for the two leagues and the strategy it introduces to interleague play (particularly in a playoff run) is one of the many idiosyncratic things I love about baseball!
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20120320&content_id=27435474&vkey=news_mlb&c_id=mlb

Only 3 days sans baseball and I am so ready for the goddamn All-Star Break to be over.

Only 3 days sans baseball and I am so ready for the goddamn All-Star Break to be over. What in the hell am I going to do in the winter?!

Kids are pretty fucking awesome.

Kids are pretty fucking awesome.

I wish there were a way to take my smartphone 17 years into the past and show it to this writer and BLOW HIS FUCKIN'...

I wish there were a way to take my smartphone 17 years into the past and show it to this writer and BLOW HIS FUCKIN' MIND.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/1995/02/26/the-internet-bah.html

Another Google Search/Now v. Siri video. This one shows off the speed, the new look and the 'cards' nicely.

Another Google Search/Now v. Siri video. This one shows off the speed, the new look and the 'cards' nicely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw-RzN4xYyE

Capitalists don't create jobs. Customers do, which is why we need a vibrant middle class.

Capitalists don't create jobs. Customers do, which is why we need a vibrant middle class.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBx2Y5HhplI

Not only is Apple making its profits on the backs of abused factory workers in China, but also on poorly paid store...

Not only is Apple making its profits on the backs of abused factory workers in China, but also on poorly paid store employees here in the US.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/24/business/apple-store-workers-loyal-but-short-on-pay.html?smid=go-share

Has anyone else noticed that birds seem to have gotten more suicidal this year?

Has anyone else noticed that birds seem to have gotten more suicidal this year? I've almost hit or run over a dozen of the little fuckers.

Softball > Warped Tour.

You don't talk to a fella almost every day for over 10 years without developing some deep sort of guy-love…happy...

You don't talk to a fella almost every day for over 10 years without developing some deep sort of guy-love…happy 27th birthday to my very best amigo, Doug Carr!

Not that taking a cowboy shower in the bathroom sink at the Cedar City Jail while my buddy gets booked & released...

Not that taking a cowboy shower in the bathroom sink at the Cedar City Jail while my buddy gets booked & released was ever on my bucket list, but now I guess I can cross it off. After today's little road trip, I can't decide if I never want to drink again, or if I want to get more drunk than I've ever been in my entire life, right now. #scaredstraight

If you watch Brokeback Mountain backwards, it's about two cowboys having sex.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad my ankle is healing up and feels better and everything, but a part of me was hoping it...

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad my ankle is healing up and feels better and everything, but a part of me was hoping it would heal weirdly tight like in "Rookie of the Year" and I'd beat Usain Bolt at the Olympics.

Title

The Red Hot Chili Peppers' music reminds me of walking home from school on a really hot day as a kid and you're so...

The Red Hot Chili Peppers' music reminds me of walking home from school on a really hot day as a kid and you're so tired and hot you just want to die because it won't end.

If every sober night is as hilarious and fun as this one was, this sobriety thing is gonna be a breeze!

If every sober night is as hilarious and fun as this one was, this sobriety thing is gonna be a breeze! What in the funny are my friends?!

Went camping last Friday night, got really wasted, passed out, woke up in my car at 6:30am with my engine running...

Went camping last Friday night, got really wasted, passed out, woke up in my car at 6:30am with my engine running and my heater on full-blast. Fuck you, environment.

Did Charles Barkley have a stroke and I didn't hear about it? Did he get a retainer? What is wrong with him?

Who parts their hair in the middle? Just rapists.

My knowledge of professional basketball ends with NBA Jam and the movie "Eddie."

Title

Ayn Rand, Paul Ryan, and both Pauls (Ron and Rand) can go fuck off somewhere.

Apple basically crowd funds their tax burden. Thanks, dicks.

Apple basically crowd funds their tax burden. Thanks, dicks.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/29/business/apples-tax-strategy-aims-at-low-tax-states-and-nations.html

If they do capture Kony, I think credit goes to those brave Americans who changed their profile pictures. #Kony2012

The best thing about having long(ish) hair and a beard is that it smells like campfire long after you've been around...

The best thing about having long(ish) hair and a beard is that it smells like campfire long after you've been around a campfire.

Tony Noble was tagged in Tony Noble's album.

Tony Noble was tagged in Tony Noble's album.

Tony Noble was tagged in Tony Noble's album.

Tony Noble was tagged in Tony Noble's album.

I wish there was a cable channel that played nothing but "That Thing You Do" or Tia Carrere movies.

I wish there was a cable channel that played nothing but "That Thing You Do" or Tia Carrere movies. Because I would subscribe to that channel. Because I'm old.

I.

I. HATE. Childish Gambino/Donald Glover. And that misogynistic cliché wanted to play Spider-Man?! Go overdose on Krylon spray paint.

Hey, duuuude . . . nice telemarketing job . . .

Hey Paul Ryan, if we can afford tax breaks for the richest, we don't need to cut Medicare.

Hey Paul Ryan, if we can afford tax breaks for the richest, we don't need to cut Medicare.
http://maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/19/10757374-the-details-paul-ryan-has-forgotten

I know posts about the weather are played out, but...rain fucking rules.

Hey, every person in high definition: nice cuticles.

Some of my bathwater just fell in my green tea and now I wanna barf.

Some of my bathwater just fell in my green tea and now I wanna barf. This must be how Macaulay Culkin felt the whole time he was filming Party Monster.

When did Adolf Hitler's haircut become fashionable? Was it before or after Vans without laces?

REMINDER: Obamacare and Romneycare aren't exactly the same — Romneycare covers abortions.

REMINDER: Obamacare and Romneycare aren't exactly the same — Romneycare covers abortions.
http://www.eclectablog.com/2012/03/how-drudge-saves-mitt.html

Hey girls: #TitsUniversity is not an accredited university/real place.

Hey girls: #TitsUniversity is not an accredited university/real place. Stop proudly demonstrating that you went there.

If I'm really into a gal I ask her if she'd wanna ride the Tony Express back to the Tone Zone with the Tone Ranger.

If I'm really into a gal I ask her if she'd wanna ride the Tony Express back to the Tone Zone with the Tone Ranger. Doug Carr tells me my virginity is growing back.

7 motherfucking words: Rob Delaney. Trolley Square Wiseguys. April 1st. So, how many tickets should I plan on buying?

Spotify + Last.

Spotify + Last.fm have completely changed the way I listen to music for the better, probably even more than my first iPod did.

Anti-immigrant Arizona sheriff who threatened ex-lover with deportation resigns as co-chair of Romney campaign.

Anti-immigrant Arizona sheriff who threatened ex-lover with deportation resigns as co-chair of Romney campaign.
http://www.azcentral.com/members/Blog/azdc/155462

I know it's trite, but if there were a class taught about Woody Allen and his films, I would make sure it ran 24...

I know it's trite, but if there were a class taught about Woody Allen and his films, I would make sure it ran 24 hours a day, and I would somehow find a way to simultaneously take and teach the class, and I would do that for the rest of my life, until I died.

I just realized that I'm a wannabe Renaissance man; I'm like James Franco, except worse at everything, even though I...

I just realized that I'm a wannabe Renaissance man; I'm like James Franco, except worse at everything, even though I smoke less pot.

Bouncing Souls, Anti-Flag, Dropkick Murphys, Goldfinger, and my all-time fave NOFX are all releasing new albums in...

Bouncing Souls, Anti-Flag, Dropkick Murphys, Goldfinger, and my all-time fave NOFX are all releasing new albums in 2012, but I'm more excited to see what comes from my favorite new band of 2011, Brooklyn's Cerebral Ballzy! New bands being formed that play the music most near & dear to my heart ('80s-style hardcore punk) are an exceedingly rare thing — I'm so stoked that Williams Street signed these guys, giving them a chance to put out records and tour and play the kind of music that I ♥ the most! Please friends, enjoy this incredibly rad video for this incredibly perfect song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewLgv8yY4lk

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.” — Oscar Wilde

I opened a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese using the perforated semicircle on the side of the box.

I opened a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese using the perforated semicircle on the side of the box. Once. I have never been able to replicate it.

It turns out I am an expert in animal heart rates.

I just realized it’s weird that Dr. Dre shouts out Pasadena in "California Love."

Wendover is the new Vegas. Says me. #occupywendover

EVERYTHING'S disposable in Wendover. Even human beings. #occupywendover

Wendover! Part Trois #occupywendover

If someday we all go to prison for downloading music illegally, I hope they split us up by music genres.

If someday we all go to prison for downloading music illegally, I hope they split us up by music genres. There's going to be a lot of scared white kids who listen to rap...however my buddy Tyler Pedersen is going to have a good time in the Taylor Swift area of the prison.
https://torrentfreak.com/copyright-industry-calls-for-broad-search-engine-censorship-120127/

What kind of homo goes to a bar, doesn't drink and orders a Cobb salad?! #thisguy

The day after a Wendover trip I always feel like I am a Willie Nelson song. Also my left knee hurts.

Drunk on nothing but creative juices tonight! Cookin' cookin' cookin...

While watching Benny & Joon, I just made a firm decision: girls with bangs do it for me. Big time. Ooh la la!

Title

Eating homemade steel-cut oatmeal and looking over my newly-arrived box of Obama 2012 merchandise.

Eating homemade steel-cut oatmeal and looking over my newly-arrived box of Obama 2012 merchandise. Portlandia's doing a sketch about me next week.

Just saw a Wheat Thins commercial with Brian & Stewie.

Just saw a Wheat Thins commercial with Brian & Stewie. At least it took Seth MacFarlane over a decade to sell out, unlike that other asshole...

Watch this and learn about SOPA! It's adorable, hilarious and informative!

Watch this and learn about SOPA! It's adorable, hilarious and informative!

Originally shared by Matthew Inman

I made an animated GIF about SOPA.

http://theoatmeal.com/sopa

I feel like I have to fart but I feel like if I do I'm pretty sure I'll poop my pants.

I feel like I have to fart but I feel like if I do I'm pretty sure I'll poop my pants. I think this must be how Alex Mendenhall feels all the time.

Black people make such good music...well, MOST black people. We still gotta deal with Chingy.

Oh, I see, Pinterest is the chick version of Reddit, got it.

How did people masturbate before the Internet? Did they, even?

Something I learned from Tyler Pedersen: when your hairline is thinning or receding around your temples, calling...

Something I learned from Tyler Pedersen: when your hairline is thinning or receding around your temples, calling them "power alleys" makes them fucking awesome.

FACT: Mexican food is the only food that tastes good with sauces or condiments of any kind on it, and if you don't...

FACT: Mexican food is the only food that tastes good with sauces or condiments of any kind on it, and if you don't use an entire packet of hot sauce per bite then I don't wanna be your friend.

I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.