Sunday, February 12, 2006

Fanning the Flames of Revolution with a Whole Lot of Hot Air

The title says it all; even when there's really nothing new to be pissed off about, I'll find something. I'm taking a more domestic slant this time. Strap yourselves in, here we go...

The State of the Union is Pathetic: I know, the address was a little while ago, and much to the pleasure of us liberals, it was rather uneventful, exceeded only in lame-ness by the Democratic response. No new, sweeping programs to initiate and no real surprises; just the same party line and 70-percent-rhetoric-30-percent-actual-infromation cocktail which we have come to expect from this administration (as anyone who listens to the President's weekly radio addresses already knows). The most eventful part of the evening came when the President pissed off Hillary, but it's cool, the Democrats got him back when they cheered the demise of his Social Security privatization plan! Aww, snap bitch!

Who The Fuck is Alan Greenspan, Anyway?: Again, it's been a little while, but why should we care that the Federal Reserve Chairman stepped down? Because it's quite arguably the second-most powerful position on Earth, and for the past two decades it's been held by a laissez-faire Objectivist who also happened to be an economic and financial genius. Here's hoping his replacement Ben Bernanke is as clairvoyant as his predecessor.

Nobody Ever Called Thomas Nast an Asshole: In the post-nuclear-apocalyptic world of the future, when the dust from WWIII has settled, the horribly-mutated survivors will be orally recounting the history of the human race, and when they come to the part about what ignited the last great conflict, the answer will be...cartoons? Yes, the Muslim world is pissed again, this time because of some Danish political cartoons poking fun at their "prophet" Muhammad. They say this shit wouldn't fly with Jesus or Moses -- obviously no one in the Muslim world watches The Simpsons, Family Guy or South Park. About a dozen people have died in the ensuing violence, which (as much as I hate to agree with Condie Rice) most Islamic nations do seem to be encouraging. Last week, Iran's leading newspaper announced their own cartoon contest for drawings mocking the Holocaust. Seems like a fair tradeoff; poke a little fun at our alleged prophet, we make light of a real historical tragedy which recently occurred to your entire group of people. They'll just keep one-upping each other on the insensitive-prick-scale until the violence erupts into all out war over a fucking cartoon, though I suppose there have been wars fought over even more ridiculous, trivial things (stolen buckets, a British Captain's severed ear, an African marital disagreement, pigs, dogs, and soccer games).

If I hadn't already devoted an entire blog entry to my utter contempt of and absolute disgust with all things religious, I would take this opportunity to say that all religions are fucking clown shoes. Instead I will just briefly state that they are all mountains of trivialities built on a foundation of lies and mortared together with weakness and ignorance. All the supposed "prophets," from Muhammad to Jesus, Moses to Joseph Smith, the historical Buddha to Gordon B. Hinckley, were/are malicious, delusional, lying fools.

All right, if there's anyone out there I haven't alienated yet, post your thoughts!

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